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Post by Justin of the BastardCast on Jan 12, 2006 23:26:00 GMT -5
Happy Friday the 13th Bitches. Its episode 13. We ripped Lady Raptastic a new one. Her show has to be the shittiest podcast on the planet. New Website, New Comment line(1-206-666-4509), and the new BastardCast Store(keep laughing Jason). We talk about shitty jobs, the days of Cali, and shitty diapers. Fuck Blockbuster online. Vote for us on rbpcshow.com's Pod Roast. I have a big fucking melon of a head(so says the wife). Flea's head is just small. Fuck him. Vote for us on Podcast Alley and subscribe via iTunes. Links: Lady Raptastic: www.ladyraptastic.comHorse Drownings Radio: www.horsedrownings.comSeattle and Beyond: www.seattleandbeyond.netTom Shillue: www.tomshillue.comAss Cast: www.humenx.com144oz: www.144oz.comSatyrCast: satyrcast.libsyn.comBrainCandy: www.braincandypodcast.comMinus Vince: www.minusvince.comHope i didn't forget anyone. Let me know. Thanks for listening.
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Post by Orion Moon on Jan 17, 2006 14:42:22 GMT -5
damn that lady is fat. to afraid to listen to her horrible english, ad i can't believe she got people who listen to that crap.
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Scott from HDR
Master Bastard
I just hyperventilated in my pants.
Posts: 130
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Post by Scott from HDR on Jan 17, 2006 17:47:42 GMT -5
Lawwwraptaisssick.
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Post by bastard23 on Jan 18, 2006 16:51:04 GMT -5
What a loser:
"So the Bastardcast has responded to my trash talkin. And y'all they was merciless. I had to lie down and eat somethin before I could get up and write this post. They say my show is not good, that I am "fake ghetto" and that I am just trash talkin for publicity. In their show notes they said "Its episode 13. We ripped Lady Raptastic a new one. Her show has to be the sh***iest podcast on the planet."
!!!
I invite all of you to call in to their listener comment line and voice your, ahem, concern with how they treated my a**. The number is 1-206-666-4509. Call in, let them know how you feel. It's on!!!"
And lol @ her blogger.com profile too:
"About Me I am a strong black female rapper just doin her thang and keepin it real. I like hot dogs and coffee cakes dipped in butter. Mmmmm.... I am a Cancer so I take total control of every situation. I sometimes offend people with my directiveness. People sometimes don't get it, but like I always say, "Shut up. Just shut up." I am currently laid up in the hospital with paralises in my body. I was hit by a rather large vehicle. Da good news is that feelin is returnin to my legs. "
lolol!!
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Post by Justin of the BastardCast on Jan 18, 2006 21:39:55 GMT -5
You see what im talking about?
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Post by Orion Moon on Jan 18, 2006 22:00:37 GMT -5
she llooks the kind of person that will order all this fatty food and then have a diet coke to go with it.
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marleybob
Full on Bastard
if your not a bastard your just a bitch.
Posts: 98
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Post by marleybob on Jan 19, 2006 14:49:08 GMT -5
yeah supersize me, oh and im on a diet so il have a diet coke please
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Post by Orion Moon on Jan 20, 2006 15:51:31 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]ok this what was on her site, my comments will be glowed[/glow]
cut out the dumb questions and left the ones worth answering. And go see my myspace profile and leave me a comment, ho. And if you ain't a friend, then just ask, ho. Just ask. [glow=red,2,300] who the fuck cares [/glow] 1) Are your parents married or divorced? They were never married but that don't mean nothin so do not judge and move on to the next question please. And besides what kind of question is that? How does that make a diffference in who somebody end up being? Just cuz they never married don't mean nothing so shut up and go on to the next question, ho. [glow=red,2,300]you can tell alot about a person by their parents[/glow]
2) Vegetarian? No, I am Christian. Though I do not discriminate or hate, just propigate da love for all peoples.
[glow=red,2,300]what the hell does religion have to do with vegetarian[/glow]
4) Come close to dying? Yes. An old white woman hit me with her car causing me to be completely incapacitated from da neck down. I have worked through the pain and can now walk and talk again. I am currently trying to get on Judge Judy... not to sue the lady, but because she is suing me and I want to be on the tv! See, I messed up her car real good cuz I am a big girl. [glow=red,2,300]your fat ass probably dented the car[/glow] 5) What jewelry do you wear 24/7? A ring I stole from this dying lady. She was choking in a Burger King. I grabbed her, gave her the heimlick and snatched her ring. She should just be grateful I saved her life. I took the ring as payment. Do not judge. [glow=red,2,300]theif, payment nothing you should be happy that saved a womens life, god is looking down on you because you commited a sin[/glow]
6) Are you eating? Yes. I have a strawberry cake by Little Debbie on one hand, a gallon of lemon ice tea on the coffee table, a box of Girl Scout cookies (I got them early from a dealer) in the cupboard and a root beer in my other hand. And Regis and Kelly about to be on...my life is blessed. [glow=red,2,300]it just asked what you were eatting not what your going to watch.[/glow]
9) Were you usually the dumper or the dumpee in your past relationships? I do not discuss my bowel movements. [glow=red,2,300]oh my god, read the question again, it means are you the one does the breaking up or are the one the people break up with[/glow]
10) Would you ever have plastic surgery? Yes I would love to get my breasts enlarged. [glow=red,2,300]first you need to get lipo then surgery for your face, but it won't help much[/glow]
11) What do you wear to bed? I wear a blue nightgown with two bluebirds in flight on the front. The sleeves are ruffled and I have slippers to match, made of blue terry cloth. I found it in a Conway on sale for $3 in an after-Xmas sale. I had to swipe it from the bin just before this other lady got to it. Big sizes on sales is hard to come by. [glow=red,2,300] not if you look in the right areas[/glow]
12) Have you ever done anything illegal? I knew this white girl name Katrina back in da day. She had this long hair and big ol hairsprayed-up bangs. She always had a bow in her hair. One day she drop it without noticing in the hallway. I seen it fall off her & just walk on without it. I scooped it up, planning on givin it the snatch. But I looked at it. It had writings on it.
"World's Best daughter"
Ooh girl I got all sad and start thinkin bout my Daddy. He died awhiles back. If I had anything like this to remember him by girl, I would kill to keep it. So instead of snatchin it, I ran up to her down the hallways and told her she drop it.
"You stole it didn't you?" she yell at me.
I calmly and collectedly tole her no and tried to explain . She did not believe me. She go on about I always stealing thing from people and I need to be arrested and put in juvie. (Back in the day i was a bit of the cleptomaniacal). She had her point. Again I calmly tole her if I had a bow like this, from my Dad, who died, I'd want it. She tole me I probably killed my dad.
It was on. I grapped her long hair and body slammed that chick onto a couch near the principal office. I took that bow and ran down the hallway screamin "This one for you Daddy! This one for you!"
The school police caught me and I went to juvie for a month. They caught me cuz that day I wore flip flops and couldn't get over that fence behind the school. From that day on I vowed to never wear flip flops again. But every summer since then they come out with these super-cheap flip flops for sale all over the place. They real junky, but cheap. When a pair wear out, I just wear them to the store, buy a new pair and throw the old pair away.
I saw Katrina when i got back from juvie. She ask me if the thing about my Dad was true. I said yeah and I did not kill him. She apologizes. We end up becomin friends for the rest of the year. And you know what? (Oooh my eyes are gettin squishy from thinkin bout it) One day she come up at me with a box. I open it up and there was a bow inside. It said "World's Best Daughter"! Mmm I have to got to cry now y'all. [glow=red,2,300]and where was the illegal part?[/glow]
18) Future child's name? Morgan Andromeda Labeaisha Tikki Rochelle Demonstrative Eclesiastica Butrellia Demonte'
and if it's a boy....
Rayquan D'Lelle Omarion Rico O'nante' Wally (my grandad's name) Equestriante' [glow=red,2,300]not going to happen, who would put their cock near you?[/glow]
19) Do you snore? Yes. I use one of those breathing machines I have to wear over my face so oxygen does not leave my bodies and I die. It's called Sleep Apnea. I got it and girl that machine is a life saver. [glow=red,2,300]it didn't ask if you had a breathing problem it asked if you snore[/glow]
20) If you could go anywhere in the world on a vacation, where would u go? France. I'd sit on top of the eiffel Tower and throw breadcrumbs to the pidgeons. Then I'd go eat a bagel at a outdoor cafe where a tall French man named Bill would sit down with me for a three hour conversation on Mariah and her Golden Globes dress. He'd take me back to his crib and we'd Le get it Le on until the break of Le dawn. [glow=red,2,300]you would break the tower, eat a bagel maybe 50 or so, no french guy would sit next you and no one would ever take you back to their "crib" [/glow]
21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes. When I sleep in my car. That's where I keep them. Sometimes I can't drive home from da club so I have to sleep in my trunk until the morning. I got me about twenty stuffed animals there. They're all zebras. [glow=red,2,300]Surprised the isn't broken[/glow]
24) Hamburger or hot dog. Hot dog...A long thick frank to chomp on while walkin down the street listenin to music. [glow=red,2,300]lay off the food[/glow]
25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would you choose? Funyuns. [glow=red,2,300]bullshit[/glow]
28) Where do you eat? Anywhere I want to: bus, subway, car, mcdonalds, Sears, my bathroom... [glow=red,2,300]"in bed, on the shitter, everyhere that allows food"[/glow]
29) When's the last time you cried? When I got the 40th call from that comunity theater that hates me. [glow=red,2,300]you probably broke 2 to 3 of their chairs[/glow]
30) Have you loved somebody so much it made you cry? yes..my old boyfriend Doo Doo. I did a podcast about him here! [glow=red,2,300] Doo Doo? enough said[/glow]
31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? Yes and I have. I went to a job interview dressed as a lesbian and got the job. it was for this canning job at a factory. I stayed there frot wo months before I...got canned! Haha! [glow=red,2,300]you probably stole the food out of the cans and ate it all[/glow]
32) Ever been involved with the police? Um....need you ask boo? [glow=red,2,300]no, you beat the shit out of some girl and ran and were caught[/glow]
34) Do you talk in your sleep? I can't talk with that machine all over my face. But one time an old roomate, before I got the snore machine, said she heard me singing "The Greates Love of All" in Spanish. And i do not even know Spanish. [glow=red,2,300]it was a yes or no question[/glow]
44) How long does your shower lasts? 20 minutes. I like to breathe in the steam and let the water get all up inside my pores and wash around. Then I take me one of them loofahs on a stick (mine is purple) and give me a good scrubbing. When I am done I like to air dry, so i will go walk to the couch sopping wet and lay down until I am "done." It's a leather couch so sometime I stick to it. [glow=red,2,300]"20 mintues for this leg, 20 mintues for the other one, 20 mins for each body part."[/glow]
66) last kiss? I kissed this lady on the forehead cuz she was crying. She was a friend of mine. We ain't lesbians. [glow=red,2,300]who cares she probably hates you now bring those fat lips near her[/glow]
[glow=red,2,300] shit i can't believe i actually took the time to read all that.[/glow]
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Post by Justin of the BastardCast on Jan 20, 2006 16:35:00 GMT -5
That is funny as shit! You have got a lot of time on your hands Orion. You should fucking move down here. You can live with me. We can do the show together because i know you will bring more content than Flea does. I have an extra mic. Call me bitoch<----yes i spelled it like that on prupose for all of you stupid bastards that are not as cool as Orion.
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Post by Orion Moon on Jan 21, 2006 0:39:34 GMT -5
i can stop by this summer when i get the money for my road trip.
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Post by chrishardin on Jan 23, 2006 2:59:08 GMT -5
i love lady raptastic. and you should not descriminate based on inability to speak correctly, or even intelligently... after all, we are all just bastards in the end.
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Post by Justin of the BastardCast on Jan 23, 2006 8:34:02 GMT -5
This is true, but she tops the cake.
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Scott from HDR
Master Bastard
I just hyperventilated in my pants.
Posts: 130
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Post by Scott from HDR on Jan 23, 2006 17:43:55 GMT -5
Yes you should. I believe they're called 'fucking retards' for good reason.
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Post by bastard23 on Jan 25, 2006 14:42:26 GMT -5
Now what the fuck?
Entry on her site:
They at it again. Them people at the Bastardcast not only did a show about me where they said my show was the worst podcast ever, I just discovered that they then hated more on me on their Bastardcast Forum page.
I showed this forum to my mother and she cried. She told me to delete my blog, stop my podcast, buy a gun and move back in with her. I printed the forum out and took it to my church and they prayed for Bastardcast...and told me I should have not provoked them. This made my blood boil. I got mad and walked out of the prayer meeting. Reverand Donalds came out after me and tried to calm me down with an arm around my shoulder and a napkin for my tears. He said Bastardcast only wanted to be my friend by asking for the add, and I was mean to them on my show, so I deserve what I get..or in his words..."I reeped what I sew."
I looked at him through my tears, snot runnin down my upper lip to my chin, wig slightly tilted over my left eyebrow. The bubbles in my brain began to boil like a pot of boiling water. I got so mad I pushed over a table with flowers on it right next to us. The vase was fulled with water and it splashed all over the floor. The crash brought other members of the prayrer group out into the hallway to see what happened. When they saw what I had done, they asked me to leave. I screamed at them at the top of my lungs so even God could hear me...
"Bastardcast is the devil and you people stupid!"
I ran out the church and got into my car, lit my scented candle and drove to Dunkin Donuts where I ordered two dozen chocolate glazed and cried, parked in the parking lot. A homeless man who recognized me from a show I put on at the shelter knocked on my door. I screamed, reached for my pepper spray and sprayed him. But the window was rolled up so I sprayed the window. It bounced off and went into my eyes and I screamed some more. The homeless man kept knocking and I was dying from the pain of the spray. I told him to go away but he wouldn't so I got out of my car and took a swing at him. He moved too fast, I missed and fell down.
There I was...lying in a parking lot in a dried puddle of oil, chocolate doughnut crumbs all over my face, pepper spray burning my eyes, me crying and screaming from the pain and shame and a homeless man trying to box with me.
All because of Bastardcast.
It looks like Bastardcast has won this round.
-LR
Well her priest sounds like hes a sensible man.
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Post by Justin of the BastardCast on Jan 25, 2006 14:56:07 GMT -5
HAHAHAHA. WE WON MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! You cant fuck with the Bastards.
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